all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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