My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
