from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This house was built for laser tag.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
