I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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