once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
