Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
