He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
