I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
