We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
