My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
