Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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