I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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