Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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