i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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