I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
