physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
