i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
