there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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