i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize