your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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