u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
