You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
