I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
