y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
