so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
