one might say we're banned from that church
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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