she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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