It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
