butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
