Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
