it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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