Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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