how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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