D3 body, D1 cock
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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