Say something about gay babies.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
