he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
