My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
