Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
