I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
