Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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