One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
