That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
