There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
