***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
A bitchslap is in order.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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