Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
