We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
