For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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