I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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