If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
