I can text with my tongue
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
