This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
