They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
