If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
