Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
